By Aparna Jugran
Being a parent is a pleasure but who says parenting is an easy job? These are two ends of a pole and how well you can keep the two ends together is a million dollar question. Children’s attitude, behaviour and mingling and adjusting in a society reflect the kind of parenting they had…. Well, ninety percent time!
1. Give unconditional love
Your love for your child should be unconditional because it inculcates trust and allows children to confide in you when they are in trouble or have issues which need unbiased opinion.
2. Parents should not have difference of opinion in front of children
Children are quite smart and selfish. Parents shouldn’t underestimate their blackmailing skill and playing one against the other tactics. It doesn’t take much time for a child to identify who would listen and satisfy his/her demand without much fuss. If dad refused, go to mum or vice versa.
3. Do not lie in front of children or ask them to lie on your behalf
When parents ask their children to lie (say father/ mother are not at home etc.) either on phone or a person who rings the doorbell, it is open declaration that lying is acceptable! Indeed, kids learn to lie from home so be extra cautious while dealing with children.
4. Parents should display and have healthy respect for each other
The families where parents are very open (disrespectful to agree with each other) to disapprove and go against their spouse’s opinion, children tend to copy them. They not only hesitate to raise their voice at parents but they are not averse to flouting ground rules of the family. Indeed, they are the ones who would play one against the other.
5. Set Good Example
Children learn from their parents.
How many dads would offer to carry the shopping basket for mom? Or give company to old mother who cannot walk with the same space as rest of the others?
Children need love and a lot of it but at the same time discipline, humbleness, kindness and politeness which they imbibe through their parents and family interaction.
6. Be patient and rationalise your actions to the child
Reflect how many times you snapped at the kid for spilling milk or water? …. How many times you asked the kid how it happened! Did you ask the child to help you clean it?
You need to be very patientwith your children because they are at the stage of learning through their own actions or learn from the acts of the elders. Patience is one of the best virtues that parents can teach their children. Answer the questions a child is asking in best possible way to support your action and why it is important.
If they err, tell them why it is wrong and not merely forbid them in repeating those actions! You need to guide them not only with patience but also with understanding.
Indeed, you do not allow a child who is still holding your hand to cross the road to make choices in their lives! You guide them to cross it carefully and sensibly. Once he/she has done it a few times they are confident and will do as they have been taught.
7. Be consistent with rules
Be consistent to the rules you make and be ready to be flexible when need be! A child will respect her parents and will have faith in them. They will grow up a confident child. Discipline is very important for a child through which he/she learn not only to appreciate good things but also the importance and value of person/ money or material goods.